Did you know that in over 100 years of research on giftedness, less than 15% has focused on gifted adults?
Most of the research centers on children — identifying talent, tracking academic performance, designing early interventions.
And my suspicion is: many gifted adults weren’t even identified as children.
Which means much of the research on gifted adults is pulled from those who were identified as children — dramatically skewing the data.
Giftedness, as I see it — for both children and adults — is an inner experience.
And that’s hard to catch.
So many of us were missed entirely:
Misdiagnosed with ADHD because we were restless, distractible, or bored with shallow learning.
Labeled as troublemakers because we questioned authority or rules that didn’t make sense.
Seen as underachievers because we couldn’t engage with work that lacked meaning or depth.
Or “sad” and struggled to fit in.
Giftedness in children can hide in plain sight — lost in the tangled forest of behaviors that adults don’t always know how to read. Sometimes it hides in schools that simply aren’t equipped or trained to recognize it. Not out of neglect or bad intentions, but because giftedness may not look like what people expect it to look like.
But adulthood is a whole different experience.
As adults, the traits and consequences of giftedness shift dramatically.
So much so that I believe giftedness in adulthood should be treated as its own thing — completely separate from the gifted child world – with a completely different name.
The book I’m writing will make that argument and give it a name.
Because giftedness in adulthood isn’t about achievement.
It’s about identity.
Here’s how I see the difference:
These are wildly different experiences — all unfolding within the same lifespan.
For me, giftedness wasn’t a defining part of my childhood.
I was a gay kid growing up in rural Arkansas with a sadist father, going to a fundamentalist Christian church twice a week.
I had more immediate issues to deal with.
But when I got out of there — as my healing process advanced — giftedness showed up.
One way it showed up was in being deeply misunderstood.
I remember sitting in group therapy once, sharing something personal.
When I finished, a woman next to me said, “You scare me. You sound so angry.”
Except I wasn’t angry.
I was passionate. Intense, yes. But not angry.
That disconnect — between how I experience myself and how others perceive me — has been a constant thread in my life.
So I’ve spent a lot of my life just being quiet.
Another way was my struggle with meaning.
I built a very successful business — and hated the work.
The money didn’t move me. (Let’s be clear — I like money. But it’s never been my driving force.)
Eventually, I was flirting with nihilism. I struggled to attach to any sense of purpose.
As adults, I think at some point, we all look at giftedness and think:
“OK… so what?”
No matter what caused it — it’s here.
Now we have to live with it. Manage it. Find a way to make something meaningful out of it.
That’s where my work begins — on the other side of the ‘so what.’
And I’m grateful you’re here, walking this path with me.
If any of this resonates, I hope you’ll keep exploring with me.
We don’t have to figure it out alone.
