I think one of the reasons I was okay being labeled gifted was because it felt like there was a built-in permission structure inside the label. I don’t usually like labels — they often feel like life sentences — but this one fit in a way that made me feel seen, maybe for the first time.
It gave me permission to just be me. To stop trying to force myself into all the Instagram quotes that never seemed to apply — the ones that made me feel like something was wrong with me because I couldn’t relate.
So, what makes someone gifted?
Truth is, most gifted adults don’t feel gifted.
They feel different.
Out of sync.
Misunderstood.
Not better—just more.
More aware.
More sensitive.
More driven.
That’s because giftedness isn’t about being above others—it’s about being wired differently.
Differently in a way that’s hard to explain… but deeply felt.
In my work, I use a simple framework I call the 3Ds to make sense of that difference:
These three traits—Degree, Depth, and Drive—help explain what sets gifted adults apart:
Degree – You experience life in high-definition. Emotions, sensations, and awareness come through more vividly. It’s like the volume is always turned up. This reflects your quantitative differences.
Depth – You think in layers. You don’t skim the surface—you dive deep. Whether it’s ideas, relationships, or your inner life—you crave meaning. This reflects your qualitative differences.
Drive – You feel pulled toward more. More understanding. More impact. More alignment. Even when it’s hard to name, the urge to grow never fully turns off. This reflects your motivational differences.
Psychologist Mary-Elaine Jacobsen described these qualities as intensity, complexity, and drive—hallmarks of the gifted experience. I call them the 3Ds: a shorthand for how giftedness shows up in the real world, far beyond the classroom.
They’re the source of our greatest strengths—
And sometimes, our greatest struggles.
If you’ve felt this tension in yourself, know this:
You’re not too much.
You’re not alone.
And there’s nothing wrong with how you’re wired.
You’re just gifted.
